Okay, so I may sound controversial here, I don’t think the problem is that women doubt themselves more than men, but rather women making the mistake of comparing themselves to men.
Women and men are not the same…there I said it! This doesn’t mean that one gender is better than the other, but by acknowledging our differences and individual uniqueness, we can focus on being the best version of ourselves rather than an imitation of someone else, no matter how good we may think it looks.
I think society pressures women to be ladylike and feminine whilst telling us that we can do, be and have it all. And I think it is this pressure to ‘have it all’ is what causes us to doubt ourselves. When we inevitably fall short of being, doing and having it all, we doubt ourselves instead of accepting that we are human?!
I know it’s crazy isn’t it?! This reminds me of the saying: “you can have it all, just not all at once.”
What’s the answer? Just be yourself. Do YOU.
None of us are perfect nor will we ever be. But not being perfect doesn’t make us simply imperfect, it’s just makes us uniquely ourselves. We find true fulfilment by listening and following our hearts not by doing the things we feel we should be doing.
I remember I once had a job I absolutely hated, but I stayed because it was a ‘good position at a ‘great company’. I would go to work everyday miserable and I couldn’t fake my sadness so I didn’t get along with my colleagues which made my work life even more pitiful. But how could I leave? I mean what would people think of me? Would they think I’m weak and a quitter?! So I decided to stick it out.
After ten months or so, I finally had had enough and handed in my resignation. The weight that was lifted was amazing. Although I had no idea of what I was going to do next, I was free – I could be me again. And all the doubts I had about what other people thought just didn’t matter. And what about all those people that I thought would have something to say? Well, they didn’t really care because they were too busy living their own lives. Imagine that?! Lol
I think we often put so much emphasis on what other people will think of us that it adds to our fears and magnifies them so much so that we feel powerless to do anything. This is what causes us to lose confidence and doubt ourselves, and draw conclusions like “women doubt themselves more than men”.
So, I don’t think women doubt themselves more than men, but I do believe that we can doubt ourselves so much that we allow our fears to stop us from being our best and living our best lives.