I am so glad and grateful that my Time to Shine course gives those who attend a renewed sense of confidence. However, my role is bring out what is already inside the participants. I am a firm believer that we already have everything we need to start and we continue to learn as we move forward.
I think we often lose confidence in ourselves and our abilities because we allow our fears to stifle us and stop us from moving forward.
I think the thing that scares us the most, is the gap between where we are and where we want to be. This can feel like a large abyss or a huge mountain we will never conquer. But we are looking at it all wrong! To gain and maintain confidence in anything we want to do isn’t about making quantum leaps, but rather taking small steps every day to get to where we want to be.
As said by Lao Tzu, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”
So like just the book by Susan Jeffers, we need to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.
This book is about how in life, we have a series of choices to choose from and make a choice, we then face another series of choices to choose from and so on.
Okay, I’m going to let you in on a little secret here: when I first started presenting, I was sooooooooooo scared. I remember my first presentation. I was asked by a colleague who knew how much I love learning about Self Development to deliver a presentation to my peers. My presentation was called Pursuit to HappYness. Looking back on it now, the number of slides was definitely overkill (I was so afraid I would forget something! ) and was suffering from a serious bout of impostor syndrome thinking to myself: “why I am here? I’m not ready. I’m not good enough yet. They’re going to see right through me. They’re going to see all my mistakes.”
Lo and behold, once I started delivering the presentation, it flowed so naturally and by the end, not only was I relieved that I had done it, I was also very proud of myself. Proud that I had pushed myself to do it, that I didn’t politely say no when my colleague asked me. Because that’s how we build confidence – by doing the things that we really want to, but scare us the most and, surrounding ourselves with a great support network of people to gently coerce and encourage us to actually do the things we so badly want to.
If we waited to gain the confidence to do something, especially when it scares us, we may never do it.
We develop our confidence by becoming more competent – the more we do something, the better we get at it and the more competent we become. And as our competency grows so does our confidence in our abilities which gives us the courage to do more. This creates a positivity cycle allowing us to grow and develop our skills and talents.
Thus going back to what I said earlier, we already have everything we need inside of us. We gain our confidence by trusting ourselves and making the choice to use and develop our skills and talents.
What hidden skills and talents do you have that are laying doormat? And how could you start using them today to build on your confidence?